I worked many years at a gourmet roaster's in house coffee shop as a barista and clerk. I always found humor in the things that were said in the quaint little shop, and for about a month wrote the things I heard. I tacked up a piece of paper on the tack board in the back room and titled it: "The Remembrance List of Funny Things People Say". So here it is, in all it's glory! Enjoy.
Remembrance List of Funny Things People have Said
"Is Ethiopian coffee really from Ethiopia?"
"...and then I had to go belly dancing, and that's why I'm dressed like this."
"Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks."
"I'll have a mocha latte, ...and one of those cafe mochas also."
"She's not drinking, she's driving."
"Hey, what d'ya guys do with all of your tips at the end of the day, ...buy yourselves a cup of coffee and call it even?"
"I'd like a cappuccino, but without the foam, but not a latte."
"I'll have a pound of eXpresso, groundED."
"Espresso, the nectar of the gods."
"Fix me up something wicked."
"Oh, it smells great in here, is that a spray?"
A clerk hands a customer a cup of coffee and asks, "Would you like that in a bag?"
"I can buy this because my x-wife won't be in town until next Thursday. . . ."
"Are there actually cinnamon sticky buns inside the coffee pot?"
"Does this cute little thing know how to make my drink?"
"I don't like tea because when ever I boil it, it tastes bitter."
"I would like an I.V. hook up to the coffee."
"I like to keep it in my car for the smell."
"Do you have instant coffee available?" The clerk replies, "No, we sell only real coffee here."